I HOPE YOU LIKE MEDIOCRITY!!: My Predictions for the 94th Academy Awards

There are about 19-20 different films represented in the eight major categories below that I am about to predict.

Of those films, I only really loved two of them and was mostly positive towards 3-4 more.

The sad thing is that of those very few films, most of them were nominated only for acting and writing...not even for Best Picture.

This is not a year that I am going to be cheering about anytime soon.

************

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:

#1 - Coda

#2 - The Power of the Dog

#3 - Drive My Car

#4 - The Lost Daughter

#5 - Dune

-I do think the tides are changing and that there won't be a huge groundswell to reward Jane Campion with a Screenplay. Frankly, I am fine with that as I felt the Screenplay of Power of the Dog was nothing special. However, if Coda does win as I think it might, I can't exactly jump for joy at that selection either as the film is essentially one cliche story beat after another. 

The only film that deserves its nomination here is Drive My Car and part of me is still hoping for a huge upset, but I don't think that will happen. The sad truth is that the film doesn't have the same sort of universal base of fans like Parasite...which also had more of an accessible feel.

Snub wise, this feels like a really weak category this year which has actually be the case for the last couple of years.

One glaring omission that I wish would've popped up here was Passing but that film was basically ignored for most of the season and to Oscar voters, it apparently didn't exist.

_____________________________________

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:

#1 - Licorice Pizza

#2 - Belfast

#3 - The Worst Person in the World

#4 - Don't Look Up

#5 - King Richard

-Admittedly, I have been writing this post over the course of a few days and what I originally wrote just a couple of days ago has now been completely erased after the WGA awards.

Going into that ceremony, it was of my belief that this category would be won rather handily by Licorice Pizza, especially since what seemed to be its biggest competition (Belfast) was ineligible.

Then...out of nowhere...Don't Look Up won the award which I had originally ranked 5th in the category. Even after its WGA win, I am only putting it in 4th but the truth is I honestly could now see any of the top 4 winning. 

I might be a bit too hopeful with The Worst Person in the World especially considering the fact it is FAR AND AWAY the best selection here, but I could see a case where vote splitting and passion (particularly from international voters) could propel it to a win. 

Don't Look Up is in an interesting position though as it is easily the most talked about of the nominees but also the one to receive the most vitriol (except for the small group of us who also thought very little of Licorice Pizza). I didn't hate Don't Look Up and actually thought that when it was at its best, it was quite entertaining and I loved some of the dialogue.

The sad irony is that Licorice Pizza still has a strong chance of taking it which would net Paul Thomas Anderson his first Oscar...and considering all of the times in the past where he actually was deserving to take it, how fitting of the Oscars to reward him for the worst work he has done to date.

Kenneth Branagh is also in a prime position to take this too, and he is also Oscar-less. It also doesn't hurt that his film (as bland and banal and sugar-coated as it is...and the complete opposite of what a film occurring during the formation of The Troubles should be) would appeal to the older-average age voter.

So, I am going to stick with predicting Paul Thomas Anderson and I will just view it as honoring his body of work considering if it were up to me, he would've won Oscars for Boogie Nights, There Will Be Blood, and Phantom Thread. 

Best Actress and Best Picture have a little suspense but this category is a case where I don't feel very confident in my selection. I do have a NGNG prediction coming up but here is just simply a category where I think it can go to any film here EXCEPT for King Richard. 

However, the real winner here is The Worst Person in the World. 

As for snubs:

C'mon C'mon and Titane immediately spring to mind.

_______________________________

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

#1 - Troy Kotsur, CODA

#2 - Kodi Smit-McPhee, The Power of the Dog

#3 - Cirian Hinds, Belfast

#4 - Jesse Plemons, The Power of the Dog

#5 - J.K. Simmons, Being the Ricardos

-This might be my least favorite acting category this year because I don't think any of them deserve to be here except for Kotsur. 

McPhee could still pull it off but I just didn't see his performance as being as undeniable as Film Twitter or critics made it out to be. Subtlety can work wonders in a performance but I feel like McPhee was mostly buoyed up by a great character rather than a stellar performance.

Hinds is a fantastic character actor but he is barely in Belfast and by the time the film was over, I wondered how he even gained traction for such a brief and nothing role.

Plemons is an interesting case because this role is almost a departure for him because he is known for playing darker and despicable characters and yet, here he is playing a quiet and genteel brother to Benedict Cumberbatch. I feel like I am not as angry by his nod because I love that he is finally getting recognition but, in the end, he wouldn't be on my list.

J.K. Simmons is another brilliant character actor. His win for Whiplash is one of the greatest Oscar wins of all time but the fact he made it in here proves how weak this field was this year. 

If there was any justice, we would've seen nods for the following:

Anders Danielsen Lie, The Worst Person in the World

Woody Norman, C'MON C'MON

Masaki Okada, Drive My Car

_______________________________________

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

#1 - Ariana DeBose, West Side Story

#2 - Kirsten Dunst, The Power of the Dog

#3 - Aunjanue Ellis, King Richard

#4 - Jessie Buckley, The Lost Daughter

#5 - Judi Dench, Belfast

-I may not like Belfast and I may love Judi Dench but the fact that she got this nomination over her co-star Catriona Balfe is ridiculous. I feel like it is a case of them wanting to nominate a legend based on her name; there is no other reason to justify it.

DeBose has swept through this season and will win for the role of Anita just as her co-star Rita Moreno did for the same role 60 years ago. Will it be deserved? It won't be a bad win, but I can't exactly say she is my choice.

My favorite in the category is actually Jesse Buckley, who plays young Leda (the elder Leda being played by Olivia Colman). Playing such a flawed character, she manages to find ways to remain compelling as opposed to us strictly hating her.

As for Aunjanue Ellis, I may not have cared for King Richard but her presence in the film is very strong, and she stands out in the way that is more interesting than other "supporting wife" roles that are often popular with Academy voters.

This is Dunst's first nomination...which is a shame considering she has done good work over the years and was particularly robbed of a nom and possible win a decade ago for Melancholia. Here, she gets to channel an almost Gena Rowlands type role and wish she had managed to gain a major win or two throughout the season.

Some of the more horrific snubs have to be:

Ruth Negga, Passing

Toko Miura, Drive My Car

Gaby Hoffman, C'mon C'mon

And while some would probably say Martha Plimpton or Ann Dowd from Mass, both of them are lead and have no business being in Supporting. 

___________________________________

BEST ACTOR:

#1 - Will Smith, King Richard

#2 - Andrew Garfield, tick, tick...Boom!

#3 - Benedict Cumberbatch, The Power of the Dog

#4 - Denzel Washington, The Tragedy of Macbeth

#5 - Javier Bardem, Being the Ricardos

-Right off the bat, I am going to commend Javier Bardem as a truly wonderful actor but the fact that he managed to slip into this race after many film pundits wrote him off...even after Globe and SAG nods...is simply frustrating. 

Considering the performances that were left off in place of him (which I will list my snubs in a moment), I find that it is one of the more baffling acting nominations this year. 

As for the other 4, I honestly liked all of them. I am a tad iffy on Washington as I felt like he didn't get a good grasp on the role until the end plus he was frequently overshadowed by his co-stars, especially Frances McDormand and Kathryn Hunter.

Cumberbatch might be giving his best performance but for me, my vote would go to Andrew Garfield. His zest and passion in that role have far surpassed any interpretation of that character I have seen done live...although the fact that they truly zeroed in on it being a Jonathan Larson biopic of sorts may have helped there. 

Having said all that, Will Smith seems to be approaching the Oscars as his own coronation. The passion for him is there and the sense is that Hollywood will crown one of its most popular stars who has grown so much as an actor in the last 30 years. 

I still preferred Smith in the rather hokey but moving The Pursuit of '"Happyness" from 2006 but he does well in this rather problematic role of a tough and overbearing father.

Some of the snubs here that I would've rather seen here are:

Hidetoshi Nishijima, Drive My Car

Leonardo DiCaprio, Don't Look Up

Jason Issacs, Mass

Joaquin Phoenix, C'mon C'mon

_______________________________

BEST ACTRESS:

#1 - Penelope Cruz, Parallel Mothers

#2 - Jessica Chastain, The Eyes of Tammy Faye

#3 - Kristen Stewart, Spencer

#4 - Olivia Colman, The Lost Daughter

#5 - Nicole Kidman, Being the Ricardos

-Every year, the Best Actress category is the one that seems to send online film forums into a tailspin. This year was even more crazy to the point I am not even sure I can fully address every twist and turn but I would say the biggest shocker leading into the Oscars was how Kristen Stewart seemed to be the frontrunner only for her to lose the Globe and then got snubbed by SAG and BAFTA while Lady Gaga steamrolled through the season getting nominated everywhere and even won the prestigious NY Film Critics Circle Award...then she got snubbed for an Oscar nom when many thought the stars were aligning for her to possibly WIN the damn thing.

Then, Jessica Chastain gained traction by winning SAG and CC while Penelope Cruz defied all odds and got nominated despite no precursor love aside from critic circle wins.

Kidman's Globe win seems like a fluke now and with that organization's controversy keeping them at a low profile, I don't suspect she will be winning the Oscar...nor should she.

Olivia Colman is an interesting case because all season, some have considered her the dark horse (even I did at times), but I feel like she will be back in due time with better performances. 

The comfortable choice is Chastain and, frankly, I am on the side that really liked her performance...although I did not like her film. Many have accused her of being over-the-top and hammy...ummm...are they not familiar with how Tammy Faye used to act and present herself?  I think Chastain did a wonderful job in that.

However, I am joining the group that is going for a NGNG prediction for Cruz. 

If anyone is a true passion pick among these nominees, it is Cruz. I could see her getting a good portion of the international voting bloc, but she also has, arguably, the greatest performance of the five.

Granted, art is subjective. Also, we are talking about an organization that looked at a list of films and said "Yes, I am definitely voting for Crash over Brokeback Mountain and Goodnight and Good Luck" or more recently, "Oh my god! Laura Dern was truly outstanding in her role in Marriage Story!".

Not a bad category although the snubs in this category are particularly egregious. Here are some of my personal favorites:

Renate Reinsve, The Worst Person in the World

Tessa Thompson, Passing

Martha Plimpton & Ann Dowd, Mass

Agathe Rouselle, Titane

Anamaria Vartolomei, Happening

Tilda Swinton, Memoria

________________________________

BEST DIRECTOR:

#1 - Jane Campion, The Power of the Dog

#2 - Ryusuke Hamaguchi, Drive My Car

#3 - Steven Spielberg, West Side Story

#4 - Kenneth Branagh, Belfast

#5 - Paul Thomas Anderson, Licorice Pizza

Despite the press she has gotten recently for seemingly playing down the success of Venus and Serena Williams (which I honestly don't think she meant to do and her apology was heartfelt), I think Jane Campion has this in the bag even if The Power of the Dog loses Best Picture.

I would say it is as much of a sure thing as Chloe Zhao last year and I don't see anyone taking on her on. It isn't like she can face competition from Coda director Sian Heder since she isn't nominated...nor has anyone come forward as a threat attached to a film with a strong passionate base (a la Bong Joon ho winning over multi-Director winner Sam Mendes).

I honestly think anyone else winning here would be an absolute shock.

I may not have loved Power of the Dog, but I do agree that it was very well made and I also think Campion is a director who deserves this kind of recognition. I actually think she should've won for The Piano nearly 30 years ago.

As for the snubs, the one that got the most press was that of Denis Villeneuve. Frankly, he was worthy to be here over 3 of the nominees so I do consider him an omission.

Other selections I would've loved were:

Joachim Trier, The Worst Person in the World

Mike Mills, C'mon C'mon

Rebecca Hall, Passing

Julia Doucournau, Titane 

__________________________________

BEST PICTURE:

#1 - Coda

#2 - The Power of the Dog

#3 - Belfast

#4 - Licorice Pizza

#5 - Dune

#6 - King Richard

#7 - Don't Look Up

#8 - Drive My Car 

#9 - West Side Story

#10 - Nightmare Alley

-Honestly, aside from the top 3 and ranking Nightmare Alley in last, I don't really have much confidence in the ranking of the other nominees. No other films have truly had success at other award shows or shown the strength to pose a real threat...but I suppose if Licorice Pizza does take Original Screenplay then it would make an easy 4th. 

The other comment: Look at all the bland selections!

This is one of my least favorite Best Picture lineups of all time. It hasn't been the greatest year for film, but there were enough films out there that could've easily made this a better lineup. 

The logistics of this season have been rather messy and I am not even sure I have the strength to try to explain some of these stats and the history behind why it is so crazy.

Coda is in a prime position to win Best Picture despite being a non-player for most of the season thanks to its last minute surge of wins at SAG, PGA, WGA, and its win for Adapted Screenplay at BAFTA where many expected Power of the Dog to win.

Here is the deal:

 Coda only has three nominations: Picture, Adapted Screenplay, and Supporting Actor...and it could very likely win all three. The crazy thing about this is no film has won with fewer than 5 nominations since the 1930s...and it is particularly rare (almost unheard of) for a film to win without a Director or Editing nomination.

Coda winning would just simply be a stat-breaking game changer of sorts...and I think it could potentially do it because of how the dynamics of award season have changed AND, not to mention, the preferential ballot system that is used to select Best Picture (the only category in which that system is used). 

The thing about Power of the Dog is that it seems to be the film that critics have rallied behind...but it is also a film that has managed to alienate some audiences for being too slow. Not that it would really be something to consider, but if you look at something like imdb, the average rating the film has is a 6.9 out of 10...that would make it the lowest rated Best Picture winner since the 60s. Even movies that have had a more volatile response to winning like Crash or Green Book have higher ratings on imdb than that.

However, last year I would've said that Nomadland seemed like an odd film to win on a preferential ballot...but it did...and the Academy has shown slight progressive steps moving towards bolder choices (such as Moonlight or Parasite winning) but then you have a win like Green Book which makes me think that it is possible that Coda could still sneak in.

I am going to predict Coda but honestly I just don't care if I am right or wrong. 

Aside from Drive My Car (and to a lesser extent, Dune), I really really do not care much for any of the other films. I have zero passion for them and it is kind of crazy to think how critical I was last year at first of the film output but the even bleaker circumstances of Covid last year allowed for films to slip in that may not have otherwise such as Sound of Metal. 

2021 was simply not the greatest year for film and I am very pensive about what 2022 will bring. If it is any worse or about equal to this year, I might just have another slump at caring about movies like I did for the first half of the 2010s.

Time will soon tell.

My (Brief) Review of Sian Heder's CODA (w/some spoilers)

 

There is a lot of talk going around currently about how Coda could break a lot of the stats as to what gives a film the weight to win the Academy Award for Best Picture over the favorite, Jane Campion's The Power of the Dog.

A lot has changed recently with the award season where it does seem like some voting bodies tend to vote their own way rather than vote like sheep to predict what may win the Oscar...so in short, despite history not truly proving it is possible (at least in terms of recent Academy Awards records), I do think Coda has a chance to win all 3 of its Academy Award nominations: Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Supporting Actor for Troy Kotsur. 

You have to go back to the early days of these awards to find a film winning Best Picture with less than 5 nominations...but Coda also hasn't won any real Best Picture awards to show any weight...not to mention that its director, Sian Heder, hasn't been nominated in most places.

And yet, I still feel inclined to suspect that Coda could pull it off thanks to its warmer and sweeter aesthetic which certainly paints it in a more positive like than the polarizing Power of the Dog. I also think the preferential ballot could help it in this case (such as its win last night with the Producers Guild of America Awards)...but I will save the rest of that talk for my Oscars prediction post.

Coda is definitely a sweet movie. I can't deny that moments of it moved me a little.

I also can't deny that I didn't really like it overall.

Yes, I know, here comes Debbie Downer...but okay, let me tell you about Coda and then I will explain why I didn't have the same rapturous response to it that many have.

Coda is actually a remake of the 2014 French film La Familie Beiler (which I, admittedly, have not seen) which takes that film's setting on a farm and moves it to a fishing boat off of coastal Massachusetts. The titular Coda (child of deaf adults) is Ruby (Emilia Jones), and she is the only hearing member of her family which includes father Frank (Troy Kotsur), mother Jackie (Marlee Matlin), and older brother Leo (Daniel Durant).

They run a fishing business and Ruby's plans are to join their team full time once she graduates high school...but things take a turn for Ruby when she is compelled to join the school choir and her singing voice shows immense promise; so much so that her choir teacher Mr. Villalobos (Eugenio Derbez) wants to recommend her for an audition at the prestigious Berklee College of Music in Boston.

Like I said, it's a sweet movie and it was mostly enjoyable...but it also felt like I could call every plot point while it happened. 

-Girl comes from a unique and sometimes difficult family dynamic.

-That dynamic makes her an outcast at school.

-Thankfully, she has one friend who is great for her.

-Girl has immense talent.

-Girl is too shy to show off this talent.

-Girl joins choir and eventually opens up.

-Girl admires boy from afar who normally would never pay attention to her.

-Girl and Boy are made to sing a duet.

-Girl and Boy have a falling out.

-Boy fights back and ends up falling for Girl.

This cliche romance plot feels completely unnecessary in the film. All it does is further sink the film into seeming more boilerplate and bland than it might've been...but from what I understand, they followed a lot of the plot beats to a tee from the original French film.

A lot of the success from the film comes from its deaf actors. Musical theatre fans will probably recognize Daniel Durant who recently played Moritz in the DeafWest-transfer Broadway revival of Spring Awakening which also featured Marlee Matlin. However, Marlee Matlin is easily the most established deaf actor working today and her presence here is certainly welcomed.

However, the most successful aspect of this film was Troy Kotsur as Frank the patriarch. He is a brash and somewhat crude fisherman, but he provides the film with both its heart and soul. I would even go as far to say that he singlehandedly made the film worth watching in some ways. 

Near the end of the film, we get a scene where Ruby sings the song she sang as a duet for her father: Marvin Gaye & Tami Terrell's You're All I Need to Get By. Since he is unable to hear her, he puts his hands to her throat to feel the vibration from her vocal chords. 

This moment is what I think will really drive a potential win for Troy Kotsur at the Oscars next Sunday. As he watches and feels her singing (and Emilia Jones is a very good singer), tears stream down his face as he smiles with great pride...which was built upon him and Matlin watching the audience react very positively her performance just moments before.

I hadn't planned on writing about Coda to be honest. It didn't really drum up a lot of passion for me but now, it has a very good chance of winning Best Picture and I felt like I should address that it is a film that just feels too slight and twee. I love that these deaf actors get a chance to get work but what I REALLY hope is that it gets them better roles in better films that would certainly be far more worthy of their talents.

I wanted so much more...but maybe this will be enough to propel Durant and Kotsur to get work and to particularly allow Matlin to maintain a career that she has deserved a lot more from ever since Children of a Lesser God.

RATING: 2.5/5

My Review of Paul Thomas Anderson's LICORICE PIZZA (There are spoilers...if you can call them that...)

Whenever I think about the greatest film directors in the English Language, my vote for the best is Stanley Kubrick. In the years since his passing, the one director I have always said comes close to the level of his consistency is Paul Thomas Anderson.

Following his solid debut with Hard Eight, Paul Thomas Anderson had a streak of films that ranged from being quite good to flat out masterpieces such as Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch Drunk Love, There Will Be Blood, The Master, and Phantom Thread. 

With that filmography, I cannot help but be excited when someone announces that P.T.A. has a brand new film coming out. However, I can't deny that with the release of his last couple of films, I kept thinking to myself: "Will Paul Thomas Anderson ever release a dud?"

Yes. 

In 2021, he did.

A lot has been written online in articles or on forums or on various Letterboxd accounts that Licorice Pizza has issues.

Take your pick:

1) It hints at a pedophilia.

2) It has a white man talking in an offensive Japanese accent.

3) The movie doesn't really have a plot and kind of drifts along.

The first two points are certainly problematic but the truth is that I found myself baffled by how aimless and erratic and messy this film was.

Licorice Pizza begins in 1973 as we see 15 year old child actor Gary Valentine (Cooper Hoffman, son of the late Phillip Seymour Hoffman) getting ready to get his photo taken on high school picture day. 

Although, don't get too settled in the high school locale because you aren't going to see young Gary set foot in this high school again.

When getting in line, a young worker with the group taking the photos catches his eye: Alana (Alana Haim). He immediately tries flirting with her but she rebuffs him as a 25 year old woman should to a 15 year old....but she is intrigued by his candor and accept his invitation to dinner with the caveat that she is only showing up as his friend.

When Gary's mother is unable to accompany him to NY for a press tour, Alana agrees to be his chaperone. Gary still has romantic intentions despite the age difference and is, of course, very jealous when Alana begins dating his co-star Lance...which ends rather abruptly when he proclaims himself as an Atheist to her devout Jewish family.

This is when the movie then takes a sharp turn.

Gary finds himself in a shop being enticed by a glorious new item: the water bed.

Oh yes, remember when water beds were considered the best possible option for your sleeping pleasure? Side note: I do recall as a kid being fascinated by water beds and wishing that I could one day have one of my own. I also wanted to work as a cashier as a child so let's just say I thankfully grew out of some questionable idiotic goals in life.

Out of nowhere, it appears that 15 year old Gary has become a businessman and is selling waterbeds...and he has brought along Alana to be his partner and has his 8 year old brother and his other teenage friends assisting.

Are you lost yet?

Do you feel very confused and like I am not making any sense?

Well now you get to share in the bewilderment I felt as I watched the rest of this movie unfold. 

Like I said before, Licorice Pizza has had its fair share of criticism online and from certain critics but it is still getting rapturous praise overall and has managed to do fairly well on the awards circuit in terms of nominations. For me, I consider this to be a case of: "Did I watch the same movie as everybody else?".

There was simply no cohesive storyline...and while some movies can work with essentially having no storyline (for some reason, the first movie that came to mind was My Dinner with Andre which isn't to imply Licorice Pizza comes anywhere close to that), there was this sense that PTA wanted to tackle multiple topics but didn't seem to care to try to organically flow into those stories or even care to try to make them make any sense.

You have this rather bizarre relationship leading through the film that I frankly didn't care about. I feel like I don't fault either of the actors with this as Hoffman and Haim perform well together but they can't manage to find anything in the text/direction that makes me want to support them...and SHOULD we even be supporting them?

In the end, she is a 25 year old woman and he is a 15 year old guy...and while you may say she has no romantic intentions towards him, that isn't where the film eventually takes us.

On one hand, I don't want to sound like some kind of sexual prude either. Age gaps are nothing to be judgmental about...as long as the person is over 18. I do have to wonder if the film would be getting the kind of controversy it is getting had the gender roles been reversed.

In 2021, we actually have a prime example of this.

In Sean Baker's Red Rocket, we watch the character Mikey played by Simon Rex pursue the character of Strawberry (Suzanna Son), who is 17 years old. For the record, Rex is 47 years old so you are looking at a THIRTY YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE.

There is one simple answer to this: Red Rocket didn't get widespread attention but also, even from those who DID see it, I only rarely saw anyone bring up the age difference despite the fact it was far more egregious.

Oh, and an older man with a younger girl seems to be more acceptable to society...yay sexism...

Aside from the age difference controversy, the other bit that has generated even more vitriol are the scenes involving a white man speaking to his Japanese wife with an offensive Japanese accent. It is being played for laughs but it really offers ZERO bearing to the plot (if you can call it a plot) or any kind of worth to the film as a whole.

Then you get these random bits involving Sean Penn and Bradley Cooper. 

Sean Penn plays actor Jack Holden (based on William Holden) who is meeting with Alana to see if she could possibly work in his upcoming film but then that descends into Holden wanting to perform a motorcycle stunt with Alana onboard the bike with him. After she falls off and he completes the stunt solo, Gary runs to her to see if she is okay and then we never see Holden again.

The movie takes another turn as Gary and the gang are set to install a waterbed at Jon Peters' and Barbra Streisand's house. Peters' is played by Bradley Cooper and while he does make the most of his limited screen time, I am beyond thrilled that he got snubbed for an Oscar nomination. It is a shame that he was even in the conversation for it.

The scene progresses as follows:

-Peters snarks at and insults Gary

-Peters has an offensively gay assistant 

-Alana, Gary, and the boys prepare the waterbed and then proceed to flood the house and speed away only to find Peters flagging them down because he has run out of gas.

**Oh yeah, the gas crisis has begun and it is now affecting everyone it seems**

-They take Peters to the gas station and he proceeds to threaten a random stranger to cut line and receive gas.

-Gary and the gang abandon Peters there and proceed to find his car and bash his windshield.

-And like clockwork, THE TRUCK IS OUT OF FUCKING GAS and they are trapped.

**I would say you can't write this stuff but PTA already did.**

Then, because apparently Alana can drive like she has been a stunt driver since childhood, proceeds to coast the large truck backwards down the Hollywood Hills without hitting a single car and then coming to a stop on main thoroughfare...and keep in mind, this is the greater LA Metropolitan Area....and there is not a single car around. I don't care if there is a gas crisis; it is freaking LOS ANGELES, a city notorious for its traffic.

As the boys fill up the truck with gas, Alana sits on the curb and just happens to notice she is in front of a campaign office for a Mayoral candidate named Joel Wachs (Benny Safdie). Looking for a new change, she decides to go work for him...and yet, STILL gets Gary and the boys involved with filming a campaign commercial for him.

Alana seems sexually intrigued by Wachs as he is, you know, age appropriate and when she gets invited to a dinner by him, she is in for a rude awakening. 

Wachs is gay and he is there battling with his boyfriend Matthew (Joseph Cross). Wachs is concerned he is being followed so he wants Alana to pose as Matthew's girlfriend so they can leave together. Matthew is devastated and heartbroken with being cast aside and here is what was rather shocking about this scene:

Matthew became the only character in the film I even gave a damn about and he was barely even onscreen. Less than 5 minutes easily.

Considering how screwed up the whole situation was and how inappropriate it was for Wachs to put Alana in this position, I found myself connecting with Cross' Matthew in a surprising way and I had wished we could've somehow seen more of him.

Before Alana and Matthew part ways, he makes a comment how men are the worst...but somehow, that makes her long for Gary more.

Like clockwork, Gary and Alana run for each other (not since Forrest Gump has a movie made characters run for seemingly no reason other than they just feel like running) and we end with them literally running towards each other, kissing, and her saying "I love you".

Cliche, party of one, your table is ready.

Licorice Pizza is a baffling film. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I sat there not understanding how this film could even manage to receive a rave review.

The sad truth is that in the first half hour or so of the film, I actually really really liked it and was enjoying it...but the shift with the mattress business just felt so random and out of nowhere and implausible that it made it hard for the film to pull me back in.

The film certainly didn't try to. If anything, it was like PTA wanted to create a series of vignettes and failed at making it flow properly. I suppose it is hard to make things flow when you have next to nothing to hold your movie up.

And just for the record, the title of the movie (which references a record store chain that used to be all over LA) has no direct correlation to the film. The original title, Soggy Bottom, made more sense because it tied into the mattress storyline...and yet that title sucked.

PTA was quoted as follows: "If there's two words that make me kind of have a Pavlovian response and memory of being a child and running around, it's 'licorice' and 'pizza' [...] It instantly takes me back to that time." He added that the words "seemed like a catch-all for the feeling of the film [...] that go well together and maybe capture a mood."

Well...there is a lot of running around in this movie...and a lot of randomness...the title fits in an ironic way...but it would've been just as fitting to call this movie "Red Vines Lasagna" or "Twizzlers Manicotti".

RATING: **/*****